on true love
"Love doesn't ask for sacrifices, it makes them.
Love doesn't think about "me" or "you", it thinks about "us".
Love doesn't hold "guilt" or "anger", it only requires a simple "thank you" or "sorry".
Love doesn't think of "sex" (well not only), it simply requires a "smile" or a "hug".
Love doesn't think of the "past", it only cares about the "present" and the "future".
Find someone to love you like that, and you'll never need to worry about them leaving."
The truth is that love gives AND love takes. It offers itself as sacrifice, and often requires reciprocation.
True love can acknowledge its full depth of feeling, without changing its nature. It can be both furious and loving, upset and loving, disappointed and loving, guilty and loving. Think of the nature of a good parent - they may be angry with their child, disappointed and upset with their behavior - but this does not mean they have lost or withdrawn their love. They may also feel simultaneously guilty, disappointed in their own failure or ability to rise to the occasion - but this does not alter or change their love or devotion to nurturing that relationship.
Love can require apology, reproach, and even penance - not from a place of obligation, punishment, or retribution, but from a place of shared commitment to real growth. Those who love truly do what is necessary to enable forgiveness, and promote healing within their relationship.
True love requires empathy and compassion - a desire to truly connect with another. It requires a devotion to understanding - a dedication to considering the perspectives of another, placing oneself in their shoes, in order to widen one's own view.
True love remains humble - it accepts responsibility and fault. True love requires accountability - while encouraging others to do the same, so that all may grow and improve as equals.
True love requires an understanding of the other's physical needs - a recognition of another's desires as valid and important. It requires a devotion to ensuring that those needs are fulfilled in a manner which promotes the health, wellbeing, and happiness of all involved.
True love means recognizing that everyone's needs are different, and as unique as the individual themselves. It requires honest and open communication to be successful, as well as a dedication to addressing these varying needs in a manner which reassures all involved that they are loved, respected, and valued.
True love takes a wider view. It recognizes the whole story - the past histories and experiences of the individuals, their shared experiences, their present conditions, and their future goals and plans. It seeks alignment, collaboration, and unity whenever possible, and amicable resolution when impossible.
True love speaks from the heart, acts from a place of loving kindness, and holds the intention of leaving others better, through shared experience. Sometimes that still means leaving - but true love knows how to transform. It transitions gracefully into its own seasons. It is capable of reincarnation, remaking itself endlessly, shapeshifting into new forms. Each fits more comfortably than the last.
Find someone to love like that. Choose to love them, wholeheartedly, and you will never have to worry about anything except your own heart's ability to endure.
July 25th, 2016