Does this lovely lady exist...?
She's the type of woman whose awesomeness shines through in very subtle ways, such as her ability to understand, accept, and support somebody who's a "work in progress". Because success isn't just made overnight, and if I want to achieve a high level of success, a lot of the time that requires a high level of struggling. This woman is rare and special because she's a little like a talent scout, or an expert character interpreter who has a skill at sizing people up very accurately. This woman is able to see potential, and she can date potential. She doesn't need me to be the man about town, or the kind of guy who can get her at the top of the reservations list at the new hottest restaurant in town. She's perfectly fine with standing by my side, holding my hand at the back of the line. She doesn't need some guy who's the epitome of status, who will inflate her reputation in her social community by dating him. In fact, she is happy to foot the bill when you're in the financial gutter and makes jokes to the waiter about playing the part of "sugar momma" tonight. She understands my process and knows exactly how hard I'm trying to become successful, better yet, she wants to help me become successful every which way she can. She's the type of woman who's aware of things. She's adept at understanding the ways of people, she has layers to her, and she can see the layers of others. She doesn't take the world at its surface appearance, but looks a little further and with a more investigative eye.
She's a real person, who is genuine and doesn't get tangled in surface qualities of power, money, and status. She's got a good head on her shoulders, which helps her associate with the right kind of people (again being a talent scout). She doesn't get bogged down by the smoke and mirrors images of guys who flaunt their possessions to attract women. In fact, this girl despises this sort of exchange, as if dating was some sort of hollow and peripheral bartering system that can be handled with a business-like mentality. This is because this woman grew up fending for herself. She grew up a strong person, who was able to carve out her own space in the world. For this reason she is desirable, real, and most importantly, she understands the fight you must endure to make a name for yourself.
Now the process, this is the big one. This woman understands the process I'm going through in trying to become successful. She understands and respects what I'm going through, because she's going through this exact same process herself. This woman wants to be successful just as badly as you do. This girl wants to become an individual person in the world, not just some half of a man's income, or prize that can be shown off at dinner parties. She appreciates all the work I'm putting in to get to where I want to go. Not only that, but she supports, and offers solutions, ideas, and strategies to help me get there. And the biggest thing is that she gives me the space I need to work on my stuff. She'll tell me, "Babe I'm busy, too. . .just do your stuff and we'll get together when it works". There's no passive-aggressive sub-text, nothing to fumble my focus. She doesn't need 24/7 upkeep and attention, but rather she's perfectly fine with just listening to me ramble on about my day, both struggles and triumphs. This gives us enough space to grow within our relationship, to the point that you can make both a relationship and your personal development work, better yet you can make both flourish. This makes her the ultimate cheerleader, but with brains and wisdom to boot. -- My buddies always say, "Oh just think of the chicks you'll be able to get once you become super successful". Or they'll just say you should become a "work monk" and swear off dating altogether until you've made your fortune, or achieved some level of notoriety that will increase your value on the dating market.
But I disagree. I don't think you should swear off women just because you can barely afford to buy them a decent dinner, or buy them a drink at the bar. I need to find the woman who loves me for who I am now and will respect and admire me for the person I'm trying to become. I don't want some girl who will only know the polished and refined version of myself, after I've already gone through all the blood, sweat, and tears. I want to find a woman who's willing to take the journey with me. The type of woman that will be by my side when I reach my goals, when I check things off my list, as I fight everyday to be the right kind of man. I want to find the type of woman who will love me when I'm rough around the edges and in the depths of my struggle. Because, I feel, the one who will put up with me through this time is the most special kind of woman.
She has no specific look, no one defining feature, no hight, size or weight requirement. She doesn't have the perfect upbringing, or background, nor is she always the consummate professional. Her hair is no specific color, length or certain texture, her eyes are not a preferred color or shape, and her clothes, whether boutique designer or shift store vintage, never look better than what they're made to cover. And although she seems to pull off a flawless mystique, and at times an effortless appeal; she does have holes in some of her socks, old receipts in her purse, and clutter in her car. She is attractive and alluring, her company is intoxicating, and her kindness is contagious.
I've made mistakes, but not allowing myself to love and be loved, is the biggest one yet… I've been damaged and I've been broken, but I am not purposeless.. ..
All of this, I know now.. ..