You ask me for candid dialogue,
but I am guarding my thoughts, these days.
When you ask what's on my mind, I say
I've been considering taking a break
from drinking coffee.
But, I mean
you. Always, you.
I mean - noticing your soft aroma
meets my nose 6.8 inches ahead of the rest of you -
I mean, pretending not to notice
your natural color is best - a light latte
that sets off your eyes - I mean
constantly calculating median distance
between your smile, and this space between us
as if there is a chance it will change -
See, I’m catching the craving, again -
it's a habit I need to break.
I'm still dragging brown slurries for sugar,
trailing adrenaline wake
and it keeps me up at night, wondering
casting my gaze towards the ground-filled mug
hoping the dark dregs
don't predict the future.
I’ll set this mug down, now -
sit taller and hold my own posture
I'm good at straightening myself out, these days -
expert at setting my spine.
When the waitress approaches, this time
I am determined to fend her off
turn down her offer to refill, to top-off
dedicated to nodding my head
to her casual inquiry -
Have you had enough yet?
Because, yes - I have.
I am already filled to the brim
overflowing in two conversations,
one running under the surface, and
I have had enough.
I am full to bursting
fed up with your constant thirst
for affection, delicious and fleeting
for both buzz and rush
sated - no more
saccharine sweet turns of phrase, please
So, forgive me, this time
if I leave you to pick up the check.
I'll just watch you finish, in silence
while you polish your silver tongue
I mean, spoon -
I mean, polish your smile
and tuck truth away, neatly
in the creased space of your folded napkin
mouthing these platitudes
while you pick your teeth.
I will take one, for the team
if you'll just clear your plate, please
we can do this another time, I say
when I really mean
it's cold turkey for me.
I prefer to just tally the balance,
and settle our differences,